


This is a fic where there's Tosshi in it

by velvetcat09



Category: Gintama
Genre: Confessions, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, i dont know what to tag this is just a fic where it has tosshi in it, you know me so you can guess what's kind of fic is this already
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:01:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25358143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/velvetcat09/pseuds/velvetcat09
Summary: “I thought you’re already dead.”The other lets out a chuckle, softer than what Gintoki usually hears—imagine hearing. “Sakata-shi so mean.”
Relationships: Hijikata Toshirou/Sakata Gintoki
Comments: 4
Kudos: 92





	This is a fic where there's Tosshi in it

**Author's Note:**

> there isnt enough fancontent with tosshi and gintoki

Even with the sky gray and holding threats of a downpour, the scent of rain just around the corner. Even in a sight that is nothing but natural to everyone’s eye, not a single peculiarity. Sakata Gintoki notices it immediately that the man standing on his porch isn’t Hijikata Toushirou, The Demon Vice-Commander of Shinsengumi.

The crinkle of a smile is a dead give-away.

“I thought you’re already dead.”

The other lets out a chuckle, softer than what Gintoki usually hears—imagine hearing. “Sakata-shi so mean.”

Maybe it’s the impending rain already making pitter patter on the street. Maybe the laziness and the couldn’t-care-less-ness that carry in such forecast. Maybe because the house is too quiet for a usually loud afternoon and the one left behind is already too attached to a louder lifestyle, more than he cares to admit. Maybe it’s the foreign smile on that ever-glowering face that entice him to milk the most out of this moment. Maybe something like sending that smile away in the rain would be too cruel, even on his level. Gintoki ends up leaving the door open as he himself walks back inside. Not-Hijikata will follow, he’s sure of it.

“Kagura-shi and Shimura-shi aren’t here?”

“Sleepover at Shinpachi’s.” Gintoki returns to his position on the sofa, picking up his abandoned JUMP. He doesn’t bother with tea and snacks, doesn’t bother with pleasantries because he never has with Hijikata. However, he also doesn’t bother with bites because this isn’t Hijikata.

The Not-Hijikata sits on the opposite sofa, posture as polite as he always has.

A moment passes.

“Why are you here?”

That seems to have triggered something because the other’s face reddens gradually, considerably. Nervousness oozes out with that single question and Gintoki wonders if he could take a screenshot of this memory. Entranced by the rare sight, Tosshi breaks the silence rather than Gintoki. How brave.

“T-The Yorozuya… Ah, you’d do a-anything for money, r-right, S-Sakata-shi…?” _Who are you and why aren’t you Hijikata?_

“Yup.” He emphasizes on the P as a mean to regain his own composure.

“T-Then!” Tosshi rummages his yukata pocket and slides a small envelope on the table, politely as ever, even in such a nervous state.

Gintoki raises an eyebrow. “Oi, oi, you shouldn’t use other’s money without permission. That’s called stealing, even if you’re stealing from a tax thief.”

“I-It’s my own!” Gintoki raises both eyebrows. “This is.. from my own s-saving, I—T-Toushirou been letting me save up..” Gintoki watches impassively as the other stammers his heart out.

“M-my drawing is improving, y-you know! I’ve been taking commissions, t-that’s how I could save up f-for this..” Tosshi hasn’t met Gintoki’s eyes since they started this conversation. Still hasn’t.

“Shouldn’t you be using it for something else? I don’t know, like _more_ special figurines?”

_Ah, he looks up._

“N-no!” _That’s unusually bold._ “I w-want this..” was uttered softly just above whisper, but Gintoki cleans his ear regularly and can hear it just fine.

“I h-have a job for you, Y-Yorozuya!” That must’ve used a lot of energy and courage, Gintoki thinks as his own gaze softening at the other pointing a finger at him, all red-faced and trying too hard not to blink to the point of trembling. That must be why _he_ softens.

Gintoki sighs in defeat. “Sure, sure. What kind of job?”

“K-kiss me!”

“ _Pardon?_ ”

“I-I s-s-said k-k-kiss m-me!”

No, no, no, no, no, Gintoki heard him the first time. No, no, no, what the hell, _what the hell?!_

Tosshi as red as tomato now.

“K-k-kiss me, S-S-S-Sakata-s-shi!” Awfully bold for someone a breath away from passing out. Awfully brave.

Gintoki drags whatever pause they land into as long as he can. Even if you give him a year to ponder, it still wouldn’t be enough to sort out his thoughts. This is dangerous on so many level, despite the pretense of job and money up-front. Gintoki doesn’t know who was it between the two of them that stepped on this landmine of a situation. But this Not-Hijikata is so adamant even with that look and wreck of a state, went to all those troubles including repeating himself. Gintoki doesn’t have the heart to be cruel today.

The silver haired inhales audibly.

“Why?”

“ _Pardon?_ ”

“Why do you want me to kiss you?” He needs justification.

Gintoki watches as the other scrambles into various fumbling poses rather than answering his question. It’s odd that he has the patience to wait for the answer, curiously odd.

“Ah, it’s… I-it’s..” Not-Hijikata is looking everywhere but at Gintoki. Understandable.

Maybe he should nudge it or something.

“I can’t just do something like that without a reason, you know. Even if I’m being paid for it, isn’t it personal for you?” The fumbling stops, Gintoki notices. “At least give me _something_ so that I can justify myself when I have to explain this to the cranky Mayora.”

“I-I want to.. confirm something…“ Those V bangs hiding those eyes; annoying hairstyle, if you ask Gintoki.

“Confirm what?”

“I want to know.. if this feeling.. is m-mine or Toushirou’s…”

Gintoki digests that sentence as normal as any other person does. Those words combined form a coherent sentence and his brain processes it normally. Then why, _why_ can’t he understand it? The moment it translates in his brain, it seems to pass a thin veil of anti-translating machine or some shit because he cannot understand what this person is saying with those words. What’s the meaning—what’s with that tremble in his voice, why does Gintoki _knows_ that _that_ tremble isn’t from embarrassment, why can’t he understand the thing hidden in those words and actions?

Or is he refusing to understand?

“What—you’re wondering if you’re attracted to Gin-san’s handsomeness and charm?” This is what he does best, this is his defense.

Oh, but now Tosshi looks directly at him and he looks absolutely nervous but _determined_.

“Gintoki!”

He caves.

He stands up from the sofa, bridges the gap between them to stand right in front of this bold person wearing another’s face. It doesn’t feel like a mask, though. More than ever, Tosshi looks like he’s _Tosshi_.

Gintoki cages him by placing both arms on the sofa-head. He looms, hopefully not intimidating.

“Are you sure about this? You do know he’s going to be real angry if we do this, right?” Red meeting blue, Gintoki sees unwavering determination. That’s an answer enough.

“Alright, don’t blame me.” He leans in, the last thing he saw before closing his eyes was Tosshi closing his own first. Something else also shuts itself within Gintoki.

Soft and nothing. Just a press of flesh against flesh, a chaste touch. Not a sound and it ends as quick as it starts. It lingers, though.

Gintoki distances himself, waiting. Tosshi opens his eyes, not meeting Gintoki again. His hands, wavering they are, reaches up to touch where Gintoki has kissed him. Processing, it seems. Then the fingers ghosting his own lips turn to cradle his own face, becoming a shield as he buries his emotions in his palms. Gintoki is surprised but does nothing because that’s the best action in this kind of situation, isn’t it?

“Ah, I thought..” _Why is his voice cracking? Why must it be that voice?_ “I-I’m sorry, Sakata-shi..”

_Why are you apologizing? You paid me to do this, what are you apologizing for? Why are you hiding your face? Why is it that face? _

The sound of someone holding back something, won’t stop cracking at its edges. “What do I do.. W-whose feeling is this…”

Gintoki is indifferent in nature. He likes and dislikes occasionally. He thought, for sure, he was indifferent about this. But right now, as the scene unfolds in front of him, Gintoki thinks, decides, that he dislike that miserable look on the other’s face. Be it Hijikata’s or Tosshi’s.

“It didn’t work, then?” Keeping it vague, even Gintoki doesn’t know what he’s referring to. But failure is a common ground, that Gintoki understands.

The other’s hands look wet.

_Oh._

“T-Toushirou blamed me, every time—b-but I think.. I f-feel that, h-he _knows_ , that’s not true…” That look really doesn’t suit that face, Gintoki dislikes it. “I-I like Sakata-shi,”

Gintoki wills himself to understand more.

“b-but I don’t know if i-it’s me or Toushirou.. I thought—w-with Sakata-shi.. I t-thought I could get the answer f-finally…” Tosshi bits his lower lip to hold back the threatening sob.

It’s slow, realization doesn’t come like shocking thunder striking one’s body in the middle of nowhere, at least not _this_ realization. Gintoki takes his time letting himself admit that, for quite a while now, he’s been refusing to understand it. But things change, rather, _he_ changes. Whoever, whichever, he’s messy all the time. He knows more than well, the feeling of burying and being buried. Whoever in front of him now, whichever, Gintoki deep down understands. Between these two in this room, well, _someone_ has to understand it, right?

“Does it even matter?” Tosshi looks up all glassy and snotty.

“Whether it’s you or that Mayora; if you ask me, I don’t really care, to be honest.” Gintoki crouches down so that their eyes are level; it’s only fair, isn’t it?

“I like both of you,” Gintoki places a hand over Tosshi’s head. Soft, just as he thought. “So, either of you liking me is fine, right, _Hijikata Toushirou_?”

They both come crashing the table what with Tosshi launching himself over Gintoki. The one on top has his arms wrap around Gintoki’s neck in a desperate grip, face buried on his shoulder.

_Well, that’s one hell of an answer._

“S-Sakata-shi.. you— _s-shitty perm head_ …”

Gintoki blinks.

* * *

“That was you.”

“No, that was clearly Tosshi.”

“Cut the crap, asshole. That was clearly you.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You’re the same person! You share the same body and all! You just don’t want to admit that you’re a masochistic NEET otaku!”

“Bastard, who are you calling NEET, hah?!”

“Doesn’t matter. Gin-san keeps his words and doesn’t back down after a confession.” Hijikata chokes on air and reddens on auto-pilot. He scrambles to regain the neutral scowl on his face.

“Awh, you’re blushing~”

“No, that’s Tosshi.”

“That’s clearly you, Oogushi-kun.”

“I said n-no! That was—”

“Doesn’t matter. I told you. I like both of you.”

_Ah, does this mean I have two boyfriends or what?_

**Author's Note:**

> i just want more tosshi and gintoki


End file.
